sometimes my body reminds me
that I am in it
the walls of your veins are thick
she says with annoyance
shouldn’t they be? I think with the same
the nurse is nonetheless kind (if also
impatient)
I recline in the chair, my head turned away
from the tourniquets and needles
and weep
which happens almost involuntarily now
whenever I am back where it all began
a year ago or so
as though in this position, passive and supine,
when things are being done to me
I finally have permission (or maybe it’s
privacy) to feel
everything I wouldn’t let myself
before
or
in-between
Cancer, conundrums, cartoons
Well, then 